The Little Show that never ends is ending - and not a single one of us is ready.

[dizzojay]

I'm not, for one moment suggesting that what the fandom is going through right now compares in any way to the indescribable pain and despair of a bereavement; that would be insulting to everyone who has ever lost a loved-one.  But it doesn't alter the fact that what we are all going through is a form of grieving process.  All over social media, I've seen people talking about feeling 'empty', 'numb', 'shocked', being in denial, in despair, being scared, lonely, even angry.

I've spent the last two days feeling low and weepy. Not full-on sobbing and howling, just going about my daily life with the emotion bubbling constantly under the surface and tears intermittently streaming down my face.  I think I need that explosion of emotion - of crying and ugly sobbing - to let it all out, but right now I think I'm just too numb for that to happen.

When I think of life post-Supernatural, I keep coming back to Philip Seymour Hoffman's melancholy words in the Boat that Rocked...

'I made a terrible mistake. I realized something, and instead of crushing the thought the moment it came I... I let it hang on, and now I know it to be true. And I'm afraid it's stuck in my head forever.  These are the best days of our lives.  It's a terrible thing to know.'

I sincerely hope that I'm proved wrong, but right now - I can't see it.

Comments

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

The Winchesters certainly will live on in our hearts and minds. I find I'm managing by existing in a state of denial at the moment, but I just can't imagine the state I'll be in this time next year I've already decided that I'll have to have a day off to watch the episode or watch it at the weekend, because I'll be good for absolutely nothing afterwards :(

[sasha-dragon.livejournal.com]

The Winchesters will always be with us no matter what happens. I know how you feel I'm still in a state of denial as well and I think this time next year will be utterly horrendous. In fact me and Chelle were talking about trying to watch the finale together somewhere rather than suffer through it alone, fancy joining in?

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

Oh God, yes please. It will be so much easier to bear with fellow fangirls around me!
Count me in Xxxx

[sasha-dragon.livejournal.com]

We'll have to get something sorted out when we're at Crossroads this year, there's no way I want to sit through that on my own.