The Little Show that never ends is ending - and not a single one of us is ready.

[dizzojay]

I'm not, for one moment suggesting that what the fandom is going through right now compares in any way to the indescribable pain and despair of a bereavement; that would be insulting to everyone who has ever lost a loved-one.  But it doesn't alter the fact that what we are all going through is a form of grieving process.  All over social media, I've seen people talking about feeling 'empty', 'numb', 'shocked', being in denial, in despair, being scared, lonely, even angry.

I've spent the last two days feeling low and weepy. Not full-on sobbing and howling, just going about my daily life with the emotion bubbling constantly under the surface and tears intermittently streaming down my face.  I think I need that explosion of emotion - of crying and ugly sobbing - to let it all out, but right now I think I'm just too numb for that to happen.

When I think of life post-Supernatural, I keep coming back to Philip Seymour Hoffman's melancholy words in the Boat that Rocked...

'I made a terrible mistake. I realized something, and instead of crushing the thought the moment it came I... I let it hang on, and now I know it to be true. And I'm afraid it's stuck in my head forever.  These are the best days of our lives.  It's a terrible thing to know.'

I sincerely hope that I'm proved wrong, but right now - I can't see it.

Comments

[metallidean-grl.livejournal.com]

A loss is a loss, no matter what it is. Yes, we can downplay that the end of Supernatural is superfluous and unimportant when you compare it to say, the death of a loved one, but I counter that no loss should be minimized. We feel what we feel and we should not minimize those feelings. There are degrees of loss, with loved ones loss on the high end of the scale, and something like this probably near the middle to lower end of the scale. No matter what, it is still a loss and everyone has to go through their own stages of mourning. Personally, I don't feel it as much right now, but I venture to guess that when we get near the end of the series I will probably be a mess. It just doesn't feel completely real yet to me. These days have definitely been the times of our lives. They have been wonderful and fun, sometimes irritatingly stressful, what with the negative nellies in fandom, but as a whole it has been good. We may not have another time like this in our lives, but good golly, I certainly hope that that is not true. I'm still too young to think that there are not best times of my life still to be had. It will just be a different time of my life. My Con buddy and I are already starting to plan summer vacations together once the Cons slow down and we longer attend them. I'm actually looking forward to exploring the world with her. They will be new times of our lives.