The Little Show that never ends is ending - and not a single one of us is ready.

[dizzojay]

I'm not, for one moment suggesting that what the fandom is going through right now compares in any way to the indescribable pain and despair of a bereavement; that would be insulting to everyone who has ever lost a loved-one.  But it doesn't alter the fact that what we are all going through is a form of grieving process.  All over social media, I've seen people talking about feeling 'empty', 'numb', 'shocked', being in denial, in despair, being scared, lonely, even angry.

I've spent the last two days feeling low and weepy. Not full-on sobbing and howling, just going about my daily life with the emotion bubbling constantly under the surface and tears intermittently streaming down my face.  I think I need that explosion of emotion - of crying and ugly sobbing - to let it all out, but right now I think I'm just too numb for that to happen.

When I think of life post-Supernatural, I keep coming back to Philip Seymour Hoffman's melancholy words in the Boat that Rocked...

'I made a terrible mistake. I realized something, and instead of crushing the thought the moment it came I... I let it hang on, and now I know it to be true. And I'm afraid it's stuck in my head forever.  These are the best days of our lives.  It's a terrible thing to know.'

I sincerely hope that I'm proved wrong, but right now - I can't see it.

Comments

[ennisjackdean.livejournal.com]

I don't feel it's about the OBJECT in question
or even what kind of loss it is (simply gone or
actually dead) it's about what YOU have infested
emotionally and yes spiritually that determines loss.

There's no question what this will mean and how lives
will need adjustment.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

Thank you for being so understanding; even I've been surprised at how intensely I've felt this shock. It's been awful not being able to share with other people (apart from Mr D and other fandom buddies) because - let's face it - feeling this way over the end of a TV show - Most people will think I'm nuts!

xx