The Little Show that never ends is ending - and not a single one of us is ready.

[dizzojay]

I'm not, for one moment suggesting that what the fandom is going through right now compares in any way to the indescribable pain and despair of a bereavement; that would be insulting to everyone who has ever lost a loved-one.  But it doesn't alter the fact that what we are all going through is a form of grieving process.  All over social media, I've seen people talking about feeling 'empty', 'numb', 'shocked', being in denial, in despair, being scared, lonely, even angry.

I've spent the last two days feeling low and weepy. Not full-on sobbing and howling, just going about my daily life with the emotion bubbling constantly under the surface and tears intermittently streaming down my face.  I think I need that explosion of emotion - of crying and ugly sobbing - to let it all out, but right now I think I'm just too numb for that to happen.

When I think of life post-Supernatural, I keep coming back to Philip Seymour Hoffman's melancholy words in the Boat that Rocked...

'I made a terrible mistake. I realized something, and instead of crushing the thought the moment it came I... I let it hang on, and now I know it to be true. And I'm afraid it's stuck in my head forever.  These are the best days of our lives.  It's a terrible thing to know.'

I sincerely hope that I'm proved wrong, but right now - I can't see it.

Comments

[jj1564.livejournal.com]

It was an awful shock, no matter that we all knew it would happen 'one day' and we are all grieving for what we will miss but until then we have 4 more episodes this year and 20 next season to look forward to - although S15 is going to be so bittersweet to watch - which is more than some shows ever get and we're so lucky to have had 15 years. And I don't think our fandom will crumble, I actually think it will make it stronger as we all come together to celebrate 15 seasons and mourn the ending. I'm sure SPN cons will continue, just not as often, and that friendships made will continue, too.

So I'm trying to be glass half full about it and didn't burst into tears when 'Carry On...' popped up on my playlist earlier!

*big hugs*

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

We have so much to be thankful for - and that makes it so much harder to let go at the end. We will all need to be there for each other over these coming months!
xx