dizzojay | December Meme

December 18 → your favorite photo this year

You would be absolutely forgiven for expecting me to pick a picture of Jensen or the bunnies here, but I'm going to surprise everyone and pick a picture of me!

This picture was taken when I attended Open studios at the Imaginarium this year as artist in situ. I have loads of picture of my art, but I have no pictures of me making it. So, in that respect, this picture is very special to me as, so far as I'm aware, it's the only photo I have of me actually working on a picture. I think the picture is just a nice happy photo, of me doing something that I love!

December 19 → what you learned this year

This has been a fairly challenging year for me. It started off with my dad's illness, and then halfway through the year, I ended up having a nervous breakdown which was triggered by issues at work, but was really an accumulation of stresses, of which work frustrations was just the tipping point. Those two episodes, both had something in common: a failure to seek help.

My Dad's health issues were caused because he did 'the man thing' and refused to seek medical help for his health problems, regardless of the fact he was in agony, and his foot was rotting off the end of his leg. By the time the whole situation came to a head, sepsis had set in, and my Dad was days, maybe hours away from the end.

Likewise, my situation was caused by me not wanting to bother anyone with something that seemed to be overdramatics. The way I saw it, everyone was busy, they all had their own problems to deal with and I didn't want to be the special snowflake that couldn't cope. If I had opened up about the way I was starting to feel, I may not have got to the point that I had three panic attacks in a week, and almost put an end to a 30-year career.

So what I learned this year was seek help. Sod pride, and sod inconvenience. Your health is too important to keep quiet, and let problems fester. I kind of knew this already; it's common sense really, but this year has reinforced the fact to me. Admittng you have a problem and seeking help is not a weakness, it's a strength, and you owe that to yourself!