Dizzo update...

[dizzojay]

Hey gang!

It's been a funny old year, a bit of a rollercoaster.  I feel like I've been here at Lj posting my Jensen Time, my bunny pics and my Friday Fives, but I also feel like I've been absent as well.



I've been keeping up wth all the fandom stuff. I'm really excited about Soldier Boy, not so much about Walker, I've watched a few episodes and decided it's not really my thing.  I support Jared 100% though and will still buy the DVD when it's available here in the UK. I'm following the terrible news from Jensen's latest film set, and I can't imagine how traumatised everyone must be after such a horrific tragedy.  For the record, I think Jensen's doing exactly the right thing by keeping off social media and not getting involved in the media shitstorm that's kicked up since it happened.

Personally, it's been a year of some highs and lots of lows.  As I said in a previous post, I've been to four funerals this year, and that's enough; I'm exhausted by all the sadness.

I still miss June, I miss her horribly.  When I was doing stuff like co-ordinating the funeral for her friends and sending out all her fandom stuff, it made me feel closer to her.  But now that's all done and sorted, I feel, I don't know, slightly adrift.

Life here in the UK is getting back to something approaching normal.  Social events are happening again, which is wonderful.  I've been to one convention and I have tickets to London Comic-Con in about a months time.  International travel is opening back up again - I'm off to Paris for a long weekend with another fandom friend at the end of this week.  But Covid cases are still high, people are still dying.  The media is still fuelling the flames of misinformation, because that's apparently what media scumbags do; one article will say that cases are going down. Another article will say that cases are going up, there are a million new variants and we're all going to die unless we stay locked away for the rest of our lives. Another article will say vaccinations help, another says they don't.  And I'm sick of it, utterly sick of it.  I've spent the last 18 months socially distanced and wearing a mask, I was separated from my elderly parents for eight months, I've lost two birthdays, had both my vaccinations, and yet nothing seems to have improved.  Frankly, my well of social altruism and responsibility is running dry; I'm even starting to think 'oh piss off' about the scientists now, and that's VERY out of charactr for me.   I'm starting to think they don't know what to do any more than we do. That said, I will have my booster shot when I'm due (after the beginning of December), because if that's the only way I can continue to live a life, then so be it.

I long for a day when I don't have to hear the word 'Covid' ever again.  Life is opening up, but there's always the underlying threat that the rug will be pulled out from under us once again, and with no warning, and it's fucking exhausting. (And I know I share those feeling with probably three quarters of the human race; I don't for one minute think  I'm special or unique in that regard.)

My work has been positive, but busy.  I'm still feeling valued and happy there, but here have been challenges and frustrations.  For instance, we've only just opened up the office, and I'm going in three days a week which is a balance I love.  But there's already talk about closing it again depending on Government advice. 

On a positive note, the bunnies have been the highlight of my year.  They are a delight, and a joy.  I love the little ratbags so much, there is nothing I wouldn't do, nothing I wouldn't spend to keep them safe and happy.  That's one thing I can thank Covid for - working fom home for months on end made me realise how empty my home felt without an animal in it.  And for me there was only one animal that was going to fill that void, or two to be exact :)

Mr D, as always, has been a pillar of strength.  He's a fabulous Bunny-Papa.  Today he stood in the kitchen making a bun shish-kebab for their lunch.  It was made of carrots, cabbage, kale, cubes of dry wholemeal toast, and a bunny alfala treat, all threaded onto a chain which he hung from the top of their run to give them a bit of variety and 'enrichment'.  They obviously loved it because they made very short work of it.

He's as sick of the Covid shit as I am, but that's good because we're a good sounding board for each other. 

I'm sorry if this is a slightly melancholy update, but I think it's just been a tough year following on from another tough year, and my resilience has just hit rock bottom. Rightly or wrongly, I've let it get on top of me! 

Let me sign off with something positive, a nice bit of 'Jensen time' ... those eyes!!



Take care of yourselves, all of you!  Love your faces xx

Comments

[borgmama1of5.livejournal.com]

I feel everything you said about covid...But glad you have your buns and Mr. D!

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

Mr D and those small furries have been a godsend this year!

[yeuxdebleu.livejournal.com]

I share your comments about COVID. After not having many cases in my part of New Hampshire, it's come back with a vengeance here. It hasn't affected us directly very much because we seldom go anywhere.

The bunny treat sounds (bunny) yummy and I'm glad it was such a hit. It's wonderful that you have the bunnies and love them so much.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

It's just so wearing isn't it? And all the information/misinformation is soul destroying. Only yesterday, I saw on headline that some 'expert' thinks we should all lock down again, another said cases in the UK are going up and yet another said cases in the UK are going down.

The bunny treat went down a storm. They loved it!

[fufaraw]

Seconding your feelings about ongoing precautions and hesitations on getting together. I'm so sorry for your losses, but I am glad you have the bunnies to help brighten your day.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

Thank you xx
The bunnies are such a joy to us. A big bright spot in this shitty time!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

I share your weariness and am also fed up of having to count my dead (sometimes I'm sitting here just thinking about who's going to go next).
I think the scientists do know what's going on and what we should be doing — but that our wanking government is too spineless and/or venal to do what needs to be done, or even give consistent advice, and that's where the real problem lies. They are still toying with us in the name of herd immunity, because they don't think they are going to suffer any consequences from the fallout, and so far, they've been proved right, because the media are either too up Boris's arse or too afraid for their jobs to challenge the ineptitude.

Basically we need to make sure the vaccinations are distributed around the world or we will never be rid of covid. We need to stop it spreading here by masking up and social distancing and so called Freedom Day was so premature it was criminal. Yes, we need to get people vaccinated and boosted but vaccinated people can still get the virus and spread it, and get sicker than anyone would want. This organisation are supporting the devolved governments and backed by reputable organisations — it's worth a listen.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

All this information/misinformation is just so wearing, It's soul destroying. All this will/won't there be another lockdown shilly-shallying? FFS, I would have thought the fact that every country on earth is on it's third, fourth, fifth, tenth etc lockdown would be proof that lockdowns don't work. Or at least, not in the long term.

You're right, the answer is in vaccinations, and I've got my booster booked for next month, and I can only do what I can do to help, but there are so many anti-vaxxers around, and governments across the world playing politics with Covid, and 'experts' on every platform seemingly wanting to lock us up for the rest of our lives, with no end in sight, I am totally and utterly done with all this shit.

I honestly thought this post was just a wine-fuelled 'bad day' rant, but no — a month later, and it appears I'm still totally pissed off with it all!

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

You and me both. (And just a bout everyone else I expect!)

[deceptivemirror.livejournal.com]

I agree with most of your post, but about the scientists, I don't, because it doesn't matter what they recommend. I say this because I'll still wear a mask and keep away from people even if they have a signed document from God saying that the pandemic is no longer a thing and we can all run around in public face-naked again. I'm sick and tired of being in this position because the wrong people are not only in power, but also aren't the ones dying of this shit. Ugh. Things are good and bad, and I also miss June so fucking much. I went back and read something she'd put on one of my entries and thought I should thank her again....and then reality slapped me in the face.

I'm glad the buns are treating you and Mr. D well, and I hope that you have a good time in Paris (masked and whatnot, of course).

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

It's all just so wearing isn't it. We have our fair share of mask deniers and anti-vaxxers over here, and they do my head in. We have bloody politicians politicising Covid, which helps no-one, and all our experts and scientists over here seem to talk about is locking us down again, As I said to Anne-Marie, I would have thought the fact that every country on earth is on it's third, fourth, fifth, tenth etc lockdown would be proof that lockdowns don't work. Or at least, not in the long term.

It's just soul-destroying when people are still dying, and nothing seems to be getting better, and there seems to be no end in sight. There's a new African variant now, FFS.

That said, I've got my booster booked for next month, and I'm trying to do my bit, but I'm just so done with Covid now. So utterly done.

I think we all miss June. She ops up on my Facebook memories quite often, and it makes me sad and happy all at the same time,

The buns are an absolute joy. I love those little ratbags so much! I hope you get the opportunity to meet them for real one day! xx

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

Yes to everything covid! I don't blame the scientists. When this first started, a nurse friend told me that the virus would mutate and get stronger. That's what they do, and that's why we need different flu vaccines most years. It's my fellow citizens I blame the most, and the right-wing media and the politicians who say that vaccine mandates are wrong and un-American. I heard about a new variant in passing, I don't even know where or if it was real, and I wanted to start screaming on the spot.

We just had a long-time friend die unexpectedly, a family member of Jeff's die, and a friend of his is paralyzed from a car crash. So yeah, lots of death and morbidity on this end, too.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

It's all just so wearing isn't it. We have our own mask deniers and anti-vaxxers here, and they infuriate me. We have bloody politicians politicising Covid, which helps no-one, and all our experts and scientists over here seem to talk about is locking us down again, As I said to Anne-Marie, I would have thought the fact that every country on earth is on it's third, fourth, fifth, tenth etc lockdown would be proof that lockdowns don't work. Or at least, not in the long term.

It's just soul-destroying when people are still dying, and nothing seems to be getting better, and there seems to be no end in sight. There's a new African variant now, FFS.

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses, and your friend's accident. This has been a year for bad news; we can only hope 2022 will be better x