Emotional Rambles of the Dizzo kind - spoilers 15.20

[dizzojay]

Well, what to say?

My brain is still completely frazzled and I look like I've been punched in the face several times.  Is it actually possible for someone to cry themselves inside out?

This is a complete and utter brain spurge, and is not written in any logical order, I just want to get these thoughts down in print while they're fresh in my mind.  It's feeling rather cathartic for me, and I need that right now!

I watched the episode this morning, along with (that's 'with' in a virtual sense) my dearest jj1564 who I'm sure will impart her own thoughts at some point.  It was so delightful to have company, and to know that someone else was getting smashed with all the same feels that I was!

But I loved it.  It was funny, cute, shocking, heartbreaking, and at the end, exactly what I wanted; our boys together forever.  Dean died like a warrior with his sword in his hand, which for me was totally fitting, and Sam got to live out his family life, except with a big Dean-shaped hole in the middle of it.  I love that Sam called his son Dean, and I really hope that 'Dean' inherited the Impala.  We don't actually see Sam's wife, But I'm going to assume it was Eileen - the lady we do see far in the background as Sam is playing with his son is petite with long dark hair, so I'm definitely headcanoning Sam and Eileen. :)

There were lovely touches all the way through this episode - the little montage of domesticity at the beginning was adorable, and I love how Dean kept Miracle the pooch, and was spoiling him rotten (when Sam wasn't looking, anyway XD)

And Dean getting the lemon merangue pie in the face was hilarious - I volunteer to lick it off!

The Dean death scene was stunning; beautiful, beautiful acting, and the emotions were so raw, so genuine.  I wonder how much of it was actual acting.  trust me, I was on my second pack of tissues at this point.

When Sam was burning Dean's body, that was when it just felt so real.  What I was feeling was actual, honest-to-goodness grief. There's no other word for it; it was actual grief.

The fact that Sam was burning Dean's body showed that he knew this was a one way trip, and that there was no way back this time. There would be no Cas, no Jack, no Billie, no archaic enochian spellwork, to turn things around.   It was a moment that I never thought I'd see in all the years I'd been watching the show.  And now I actually was seeing it, oh my Jack, it hurt!

When Sam made the decision to leave the bunker, and he switched the lights off, that was another painful scene.  It wasn't just Sam's goodbye to the bunker, it was ours.  The last thing we see of the bunker is the alcove containing the big telescope, and I actually flinched when Sam threw the switch and plunged that into darkness.

I love that Dean's Baby in heaven had her original KAZ 2YK licence plate!!

The use of Carry on was so, so special in this episode, particularly the original arrangement they played toward the end where I think it may have been Briana singing.

I also loved how Jack had rearranged Heaven so that everyone could be reunited with their loved ones, and it wasn't like an ultra-comfortable prison any more.  It was great that Castiel helped him, which I take to assume that Jack rescued Cas from the Empty.  I'd love to have heard a little bit more about that, but there was so much else going on, that's just a teeny tiny nitpick.

BOBBY!!  That's it, just ... BOBBY!!

But for me the cutest touch, and the one that really finished me off - although I didn't notice it until the second watch was that in their reunion in Heaven Sam and Dean were dressed very similarly as they were when they were reunited in the Pilot.  I only noticed it because I thought it was weird that Sam was wearing a hoodie.  And then the penny dropped and I started bawling again!!




So yes, wrung out? check.  Over-emotional? check.   It was a fabulous Supernatural finale, and - I think - a very fitting one for the end of Sam and Dean's epic journey.

All I can say is that if I had been asked to write a finale for the series, I'd hope that - apart from the fact that Dean would have probably lost his clothes a lot more - it would have turned out very similar to this.

Now I've just go to try to stop crying so that I can go out in public.

Wish me luck ...

Comments

[jj1564.livejournal.com]

'It was so delightful to have company, and to know that someone else was getting smashed with all the same feels that I was!' oh yes, i so agree! It made it more special to share it with you. Our texts are so funny - shirtless Sam! Pie! Nooooooo! Uh oh... BOBBY, aw Old Sammy, old Baby, I'm a sobbing mess...' hee hee hee!

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

It made watching the finale so much more bearable with company. Thank you :)
I was still a sobbing mess though.

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

The three things that hit me the hardest with the finale was watching Sammy carry on by himself (although, I was very HAPPY he finally got the life he wanted!), Dean getting into Baby in Heaven & going for a ride (I kept expecting Sammy to pop up along the side of the road for some reason. XD), & the last moments when they were together in the end. (Dang it! I'm trying sooo HARD NOT to cry that I'm making my throat hurt as the tears stream down my face. XD) I also think it was very telling that Bobby met Dean in Heaven to explain how things are, as Bobby really was their dad, much more so than John, which is kinda sad when you think about it. (Not hating on John, he did what he thought was right.) And I LOVED the lil Easter egg they threw in with Agents Kripke & Singer; that was a nice touch in my humble opinion. (I had to end this on a HAPPY-ish note!)

SPN memories; I remember spending a Summer binge watching 8 seasons so that I could be ready to watch this show everyone was talking about when season 9 was ready to air. XD That and all the sweet understated moments with Meg & Cas.

*sighs* I keep hoping that Jared & Jensen will eventually show up on each other's new show sometime down the line! :D

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

We all have our fond memories of Supernatural - that's why it's so hard to see it end.
At least we'll all still have each other :)

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

I know, right? *sighs*

Yup! :D

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

I saw somewhere that it was J2's idea to mirror the Pilot clothes - they have the best ideas.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

Yes, definitely

[daintyfuck.livejournal.com]

What happened to Cas?? :o

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

He was rescued from the Empty by Jack, and helped make the perfect heaven for Sam and Dean.

[sasha-dragon.livejournal.com]

At the moment I'm all over the place, I both love and hate the ending! I love that the boys were together at the end but I hated Dean dying in that barn, although I understand that it really was the only way his story got to end. The heartbroken 13 year old in me is still shouting "But it's not fair" and that's when you realize life isn't fair and sometimes your hero dies.

Give me a couple of weeks and I'll be fine!

Anyone for a rewatch from the beginning?

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

I'd definitely be up for a rewatch with friends at some point. At the moment, I can't get past sitting alone and snivelling miserably into a box of tissues!

[sasha-dragon.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* Believe me I know how you feel, I still keep wibbling over the place! Maybe one when we stop crying we can go back and start again.

[herminekurotowa.livejournal.com]

We even got a look at bare-chested Sam.

But I still can't, not yet.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

Yes, let's focus on the positives ...
:D