It's a strange old week.

[dizzojay]

To paraphrase the great old song, And now, the end is near, and so we face the final curtain. 

There is an ocean of 'lasts' and 'reflections' washing over the fandom at the moment as we enter Supernatural's very last few hours of production.  The last shoot with Baby, the last shoot in the bunker, Clif's last drive to the studio, the empty Ackles and Padalecki chairs, stuntmen paying their tributes, the news that Jensen will be taking Baby home ... the list goes on.

I always assumed that when this moment came, I'd just be a broken, emotional wreck; no good to man nor beast.  There's definitely emotion there, but right now all I feel is an overwhelming emptiness.  I feel strangely detatched from it all, just looking at the posts and the tweets and moving on numbly. 

Is it a self-preservation thing?  Is it just resignation?  I don't know.  I've got a horrible feeling that the emotion that I'm no doubt bottling up inside is going to burst, 'Old-Faithful-like' when I watch the series finale.

I'm making arrangements to book the 20th November off work, no-one knows why - as far as they're concerned, I'm just using up annual leave.

I discovered the joy of fandom  ten years ago because of Supernatural, and through it I found support and friendship beyond what I could have ever imagined.  We're all going to need that so much in the next few weeks.

Let me put it on record now that I'll be here as a 'virtual'  shoulder to cry on for anyone who needs it!

Comments

[amypond45.livejournal.com]

Just reading your post makes me emotional. I get that jittery, butterflies-in-the-belly feeling every time I see another post about the end that’s coming. I’m planning to call in sick on the 20th, since I can’t ask for it off at this point (all vacation requests at my job had to go in by last May 1 and I didn’t know what we know now then!)

[fufaraw]

I always assumed that when this moment came, I'd just be a broken, emotional wreck; no good to man nor beast. There's definitely emotion there, but right now all I feel is an overwhelming emptiness. I feel strangely detatched from it all, just looking at the posts and the tweets and moving on numbly.

Is it a self-preservation thing? Is it just resignation? I don't know.


I do think I'm detached because I'm self-insulating. And I don't know if the flood will come at some point, or just...jab painfully at odd moments. Watching Walker isn't something I'm eager for, nor is The Boys. I've realized that while I'm a fan of both Js, I'm most fannish about them together, cueing off and reacting to each other. They're both competent actors--more than competent. But I'm not sure how much interest I'll maintain in each of their careers.

I did well up a bit at the last shot of the bunker as it's being struck. Ah well, I can always roll that beautiful bunker footage, I suppose.

Wherever we go from here, as performers or as fans, we had an extended, magnificent experience, and it can be revisited and savored well into the future, no matter what else that future might hold for the cast, or for us fans.

[borgmama1of5.livejournal.com]

Taking the day after off work suddenly seems like a tempting idea...

[casey28.livejournal.com]

I'm feeling some detachment and sadness, but no intense emotions. Maybe because the end has been dragged out since March, we've had a longer time to come to terms with it. But, I think once the eps return, that I'll be feeling it more.

[jj1564.livejournal.com]

It's a strange coincidence that 'I Did It My Way' has been rattling around my head for a few days as an idea for a SPN songspam - our boys have always done things their way! I think we're all feeling emotionally drained, as we were prepared to say goodbye in May and that didn't happen, so it's become the long goodbye. I shed a tear over Clif's little vid and the news that Baby will go home with Jensen. If I let myself think about the last episode, I'd never stop crying, so perhaps it is a self-preservation thing! And I have to second this, except mine would be 6 years...
"I discovered the joy of fandom ten years ago because of Supernatural, and through it I found support and friendship beyond what I could have ever imagined. We're all going to need that so much in the next few weeks." BIG HUGS XXX

[amberdreams.livejournal.com]

I'm not emotional - yet. I'm going to be at my mum's for the finale so that's probably good because I don't want to explain a sudden meltdown to Paul! LOL

[kazluvsbooks.livejournal.com]

Yes, I feel you. I have spent 8/9 years with show, and I am trying to block out it ending. 😢
I heard carry on my wayward son this week and nearly lost it 😩
Definitely helps that we have J2 projects to look forward to, but still the end of an era.
Here for you too, wish I could be over there to watch with you guys ❤️

[metallidean-grl.livejournal.com]

I'm not quite sure how I feel right now, or how I will react with the finale. I've been occupying myself with "other" things and life itself is just crazy busy stressful, which occupies my mind a lot. So, I haven't taken the time to really think or feel about it. BUT, with my rewatch and then seeing all the things that are coming out right now about "the last this and the last that" I am feeling some pangs with regards to the show ending. I'm not sure if today or tomorrow is the final shooting day. According to the QOTD tweets, today is Day 8 of 8, but then I'm seeing tweets that tomorrow is the last day. So, I'm not sure. But, I do admit, reading those tweets really choked me up. I wasn't expecting to get all emotional over the finality of filming, but here I am tears streaming down my face. Heavens. This does not bode well for my emotional state come finale day. I wish I could call off the day after it airs, but I can't do that. Maybe I'll just wait to watch it till Friday night and just not watch it live on Thursday. We'll see.

I think we are all going to need each other's shoulders come finale day.