Long day has been long ...

[dizzojay]

It's been a loooooooong day!



I left home at 8.10 tthis morning to go to work.  The day didn't start brilliantly when I hurt my back - getting dressed.  I was pulling my top on over my head and as I squirmed to get my arm through the sleeve, my back went into a spasm on the left hand side.  I mean, really, who does that?  who injures themselves with their own clothing?

Sometimes I really think I shouldn't be allowed out without a carer!

But it was a good day at work; payroll has closed for the month, and so there's always a big sense of relief (and a small sense of foreboding) for me when that happens! One of the girls in our office is leaving, so some of us went out for a little drink and a few nibbles at lunchtime which was a nice change from the norm. We had the radio on in the office, and all day was back-to-back 80's music, which was musical heaven as far as I'm concerned.  Then on the drive home, the radio played Bohemian Rhapsody!  Was I singing along very loudly and doing the whole Wayne's World headbanging thing?  Was I?  What do you think??? :)

When I got in from work, it was a quick case of load up the car, shower, change, then off to present my pastel workshop at the Frimley and Camberley Society of Arts.  It''s been a lovely evening there, so much interest and so many questions that I only got my picture about a querter finished, but that's fine.  I'll finish it off over the next few days.  The organiser thanked me, and said she loved to see the room (about 30 people) so engaged, so I can't complain.  If one person in that room feels inspired to try something new because of my session, then I've done my job!

But anyway, now it's 11.15 pm and I got home about 30 minutes ago.  The PJ's are on and the wine is poured, and I just got home to read this heartbreaking post in one of the Supernatural groups I follow on Facebook:

'Goodbye. I'm being given an ultimatum, either I kill the fangirl part of me or lose my family. I can never watch SPN ever again and I have to get rid of my memorabilia (or junk, as it's being called) or my husband will take my kids and leave. He says I am broken. That I am sick and being a fangirl is a sickness. I have to find something, therapy, inpatient psychotherapy or medication that will effectively get rid of (kill) the fangirl part of me. I don't wanna go. I've been a fangirl for 36years or more. It's a huge part of who I am. My husband refuses to have SPN's occult themes in the house anymore. I have no other choice. Give up that part of me or give up my family. I've been married 25years this year. I don't want to lose the love of my life or my kids. But I don't want to lose my new SPN family either. It hurt for him to say he thinks I'm broken and have to be fixed. The only thing broken right now is my heart. I don't want to say good bye and it isn't fair but I don't have a choice.'

It made me realise how lucky I am to have Mr D who is not a psychologically abusive, controlling bastard and who not only tolerates my fandom/Supernatural obsession, but actively enables it.

So all in all, it's been a good day.

And It's Friday and the sun has been shining.

Love you all!!

(But not as much as Jensen does, apparently ...)

Comments

[stir-of-echoes.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, that's heartbreaking. It truly is. It makes me even more thankful that Arf knows and encourages my interaction with my fandom family. I can't imagine being asked to make such a painful choice.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

My heart breaks for that lady. Her husband sounds like a classic abusive and controlling scumbag. I really hope one of her fandom friends can get through to her and help her to realise his true colours.

[stir-of-echoes.livejournal.com]

I hope so too, her situation is heartbreaking. :(

[jennytork.livejournal.com]

That is so heartbreaking.

My husband tolerates SPN, and the only thing he has EVER asked of me is to not have anything with the visible "pentagrem" on display. Given the circles we run in and the fact that it would take far to long to explain it over and over and over again (and the fact that he took the time to explain that THAT was his reason, which i happen to agree with), I found it to be a reasonable request.

He beta-reads my stories and does occasionally talk to me (kindly) when he thinks my hobbies are getting ahead of my family responsibilities, but he has always supported me.

That heartbreaking letter reminds me how blessed I am to have a supportive husband. That lady's husband strikes me as abusive and I am genuinely worried for her.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

That's reasonable enough. I'm like you, lucky enough to have a husband who respects my independence and lets me get on with my fandom life without any interference. In fact, he actively encourages me.
This man is, as you rightly say, abusive and controlling. How dare he tell her what she can and can't do?

[deceptivemirror.livejournal.com]

That husband on that forum sounds like a grade-A asshole. Also, what the fuck, to do something like that after 25 years?! That makes no sense whatsoever.

Regarding your day...I've tweaked my body putting on shoes, so yeah, I guess you're not alone with the random clothing injuries!

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that does sumb things like that.,
I totally agree with your assessment on that lady's husband, he is a controlling, abusive bastard. My heart breaks for her.

[julchen11.livejournal.com]

Heartbreaking and cruel. She has to give up a part of her life? After 25 years ? She has to make a choice? How old is this guy being that ... can't find words for what he is... I'm worried about her... much...
This Shows me how glad I am that my husband is very tolerant. Never ever would he demand something like this. Just the oppositive. He knows exactly how happy I am being part of this wonderful SPN Family and he always says "when you're happy this makes me happy". He knows all of my friends here, he read many entries and stories (I translate everything for him because he never learned this wonderful language) and he's having a good time with all of us.
I'm really blessed.


Hope you're Feeling better today, and your back doesn't hurt anymore. Goodness, th is was indeed a very Long day for your.
Relax today, enjoy the Weekend with Mr. Dizzo - just have a great time, sunshine!

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

You and I are so lucky to have our tolerant and encouraging husbands who respect our right to have our own interests and friends. This lady's husband is controlling and psychologically abusive, she deserves so much better and my heart breaks for her.

I've had a good relaxing day today, thank you! Lots of coffee and wine. Watched a couple of movies and did some artwork. A perfect day :)

[ennisjackdean.livejournal.com]

Perhaps the most heartbreaking thing is she refers
to this man as the love of her life. This actually makes
me feel physically ill.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

That's how these scumbags work, isn't it. They chip away at their victim's self-esteem until they can't function without them. It's heartbreaking.

[ennisjackdean.livejournal.com]

Taking away what's precious is a key thing
too. Then the victim is left with only the abuser.

[loki-dip.livejournal.com]

She really needs to find the strength for option #3. Take the kids and RUN.

I married someone I met through fandom, so this really isn't an issue for us (hell, our wedding was fairly fandom based, and my SiL got married at a con!) but the whole premise is terrifying. :(

Glad your workshop went well though. :D

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

Reading a horrific story like this really makes us thankful for our own situation, doesn't it.
x

[be-my-precious.livejournal.com]

That is so heartbreaking. I couldn't imagine having to have that kind of choice. I honestly hope she finds out that what her husband just did is psychological abuse. The whole time I read it and cried.

My therapist (you know, like one her husband suggested) thinks that me being envolved with people( no matter where they are ) who have something in common is SO good. It's like a big group of people that loves each other (I MAY have talked to her about when I saw her last... *whistles*)

If I were given an ultimatum like that, I would probably break down.

This is so unfair and damaging, I even don't know what to write anymore.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

I'm with you, my heart breaks for this poor lady. Her husband is an abusive, controlling bastard. It's horrible that there are people around like this, and she is probably worn down by him :(
We are a big supportive family, and we are good for each other.
*hugs*

[sasha-dragon.livejournal.com]

For a start I hope your back gets better soon, and it sound like our class was amazing. After reading that post I'm really appreciative of my long suffering other half, as he puts up with my fangirling unlike that asshole that poor woman is married to. He sounds like a narcissistic manipulative prat, and I don't know about forcing her to get therapy I think he needs it more.

But it's good to know we have such loving supportive men in our lives, and such great friends in fandom.

[dizzojay.livejournal.com]

Wwe are so lucky with our hubbies, aren't we. My heart breaks for that poor lady.
My back is so much better today, thank you :)

[deanshot1]

My heart is breaking for her, I really do hope that someone from the SPN fandom can get through to her that what that despicable man is asking her to give up is wrong. He just comes across as controlling and abusive.

I hope your feeling better and that your back isn't as sore anymore. Enjoy your weekend.

*hugs*

[sillie]

Booh to a sore back. I hope it's feeling better by now.

Glad the workday was good and that the workshop was good as well.

Wow, that's a really sad post. What an asshole husband making her choose like that. :( Sounds more like he's the one who needs help.

[milly-gal.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, that is the most horrendous thing I have ever heard from a fangirl's pov. That poor woman! I am so very lucky to have Steve *shudders* It makes me so mad when people call *this* a sickness, it's no such f*cking thing!!!

I'm glad your long day closed out with a bit of relaxation and a cheeky glass of wine :) ♥♥

[jj1564.livejournal.com]

Ouch, sorry to hear about your back, sometimes it's so easily done and caused by the simplest of things - the most painful back ache I ever had was after bending over to clean the bath! I'm pleased you had a good day despite that!

That story is so sad, what a complete arsehole that fan's husband is - I honestly think he's just jealous of Jensen and Jared, they make him feel inferior and threatened.

It made me realise how lucky I am to have Mr D who is not a psychologically abusive, controlling bastard and who not only tolerates my fandom/Supernatural obsession, but actively enables it. huzzah Mr D!

Lovely gif *sighs*

[metallidean-grl.livejournal.com]

I am utterly shocked at the emotional abuse and manipulation that man is putting on his wife, this fangirl. No one should have to give up something that makes them happy. I can see if it occupies too much of her time and he is becoming fed up with it. Then a polite can you cut back your interaction a little and pay a little more attention to your family? But to have to quit cold turkey, and then given an ultimatum that if you don't quit me and the kids are gone??? OMG. I feel so sorry for the woman. Even if he is the love of her life, I truly wonder about it. How can someone so manipulative and abusive be the love of ones life. Has he been like this their entire marriage, or did he just start exhibiting such characteristics? If he has been like that their entire marriage then her self-esteem must be so damaged that she wouldn't even begin to think of life without him because her whole existence is centered around one human being.

Hmmmmmm. Sounds like someone we all know and love, except not to this extent, I don't think.

I do feel badly for her. It's too bad we can't sit down with her and have a meeting of the minds, so to speak, kind of like an intervention, but instead of getting her off fandom, it would be to open her eyes as to how truly emotionally abusive her husband is. I hope she can still be happy and contented and that she won't end up hating him in the long run for this ultimatum.