dizzojay | Nov. 27th, 2020

I had a phone call last week from an old family friend, Carol, who I haven't actually seen for about eight years.

We had a nice catch up chat, then got to the crux of the reason why she called. Could I do her a big favour? She's an old friend of my Mum's, so of course, I was happy to help.

Anyway, our conversation went thus:

Carol: "I work with this guy who's a real practical joker. Honestly, he's an absolute sod. So me and a few of the girls want to get a bit of payback, and we've bought an inflatable woman and we're going to blow it up and plant it in his locker."
Me: "Riiiight..."
Carol: "Anyway, we thought it would be fun to write a saucy little poem to put with it for when he opens his locker."
Me: "Okay."
Carol: "But none of us can do that. I remember a couple of the funny poems you've written, and I really like them, so I wondered if you'd mind doing a little poem for the inflatable woman to 'give' to this guy?"
Me: "Well, I like a challenge!"
Carol: "Oh that would be great, I'd really appreciate it! You can make it as funny and rude as you like."
Me: When you say 'rude', are we talking 'filthy' rude, or 'Carry-on film' tits and bums innuendo rude?"
Carol: "Entirely up to you!"

So, apparently I've been commissioned to write a poem fro the POV of an inflatable woman.

Because, as i said, my life is never normal...

So, before I share the poem back with Carol tomorrow, I thought I'd share it with you guys:

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